People throw around the word 'blessed' way too much, in my opinion...for example, when good things are happening for them, they're blessed. It always seems it's during positive times that people are 'blessed'. I can honestly say I have never felt more blessed in my life than I have right now and going through the awful 6 months prior. I know I said sometimes I look around and don't feel blessed, but I've learned that through this journey of grief, we have moments, hours, days of just not feeling it. We know it's just part of this journey, we aren't going to be happy all of the time and maybe it's hard for us to appreciate all that we have when the most important thing to you is gone. But oh are we blessed.
We have seen the good in people in a way that was unknown to us before... We have learned a deeper kind of love... We have found out how strong you can be as a parent and went to those limits, we have learned to fully.. And I mean fully rely on God. All of these things might not have ever happened without the last 6 months happening. I will not say that Avery's short little precious life ended so that these things would happen but I believe our God cries with us and hurts with us because He truly knows our hurt. I believe that He didn't want this to happen to our sweet girl. I believe that it's how you deal with situations that makes you who you are. He has been my source of strength and will continue to be because, well, there is no other way.
We hurt so because we were and are blessed. We were blessed with Avery's precious smile, her laugh, her will to live when the odds were stacked against her. We were blessed with 4 amazing months with a happy, perfect baby. We were blessed with 4 more very different months that gave us time to snuggle, care for, and love our sweet girl. We were blessed beyond measure when God gave us Avery.
So today, as much as I hurt, I can say I am blessed.
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